


So Close

by Fumm95



Series: Morning Glory (Jace Malcom & Satele Shan) [22]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic: Annihilation - Drew Karpyshyn
Genre: Angst, F/M, I really don't know what to tag this as, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 03:23:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7388557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fumm95/pseuds/Fumm95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Satele's thoughts as the Ascendant Spear attacks the Aegis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Close

**Author's Note:**

> If the name looks familiar, it’s because I had a fic named that already, and then proceeded to change its name to So Far because this fic works better with this name. But yeah, companion piece to So Far, taking place during Annihilation.
> 
> As with the other fic, this is inspired the song [So Close from Enchanted](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2WHo5bGRNw). Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any additional feels due to listening to the song while reading.

“Shields down to ten percent.” In spite of the _Aegis_ ’s rocking, the helmsman’s voice is calm, _resigned_ , and Satele feels her heart lurch in her throat. Another attack, another hit, and the _Aegis_ is gone, and with it, any possibility of destroying the _Ascendant Spear_. They have failed. She has failed.

And she has dragged everyone else into it. Has convinced Jace to join the scheme in spite of his better judgment. Has led him—led them all—to their deaths.

She cannot quite see Jace’s face in the darkness of the ship, but she does not need to; she knows him well enough that she can picture his expression, the reluctant, pained, acceptance. He knows, likely better than she does, that it is over. That these next, desperate, moments will be their last.

“Jace,” she tries but his name lodges in her throat as she steps forward, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder. She draws a deep breath and tries again, forcing out the words around the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry, Jace.” He was right. Has always been right. About _everything_.

For a moment, he says nothing, only stiffens under her touch, and she nearly pulls away, her chest tightening until she can hardly breathe. And then he relaxes—or maybe relents, gentle fingers covering her own trembling ones.

“We fought the good fight.” His voice is heavy, resigned, but with a softness, an understanding, that she has not heard in years. As if he, too, is remembering the past, the times they have shared. The attachment that she has never been able to overcome. As if, somehow, it is—their lives have been—enough.

Without thinking, she turns her hand, closes her fingers around his as she bites her lip, wondering what will become of the Republic. The Order is organized, can move on. She has told that to Jace already and she knows it to be true. And Theron… He must be safe. If nothing else, he and Gnost-Dural must live, and he has never wanted her in his life to begin with. He will be fine. Life will go on.

A heartbeat. Jace squeezes back, the pressure around her fingers cutting through instinctive panic enough to remind that, at least, she is not alone. That she has him. Perhaps, has always had him, at least in her heart. Words well in her chest, ones that she has held back for decades. If this is the end… he deserves to know.

Is it her imagination or does he turn, ever so slightly, to face her like he knows what she is thinking?

Another heartbeat. Any moment now. Surely Karrid is ready, just toying with them at this point. Jace is still watching the screen, awaiting the glow from the ion cannons heralding their death, and the thought of losing him again—of dying without him knowing—is almost too much to bear. Now, at least, regardless of how he feels, he will know the truth that she has hidden from even herself and it will not haunt him for long.

She moves forward, ever so slightly, so she can see his face. So she can be sure of his reaction, to let that be the last thing she sees. His expression is soft, sad, somehow, and she wonders if he is thinking what she is. If he is wishing that they had more time. If he is thankful that, in this moment, they do not need to pretend. She opens her mouth.

“Not dead yet.” Teff’ith cuts her off before she can speak and she turns instinctively to look at the screen and the _Ascendant Spear_ , its ion cannons oddly still dormant. Which means…

Jace noticeably straightens, the fight back in his eyes. “This is our chance! Transfer all power to the forward guns! All ships, fire at will! Fire at will!”

As the ship scrambles to obey, she releases him, backing away from the rest of the crew. For a brief moment, she thinks she imagines him turning to her, a questioning look in his eyes, but then his attention is caught by the rapid ejection of hundreds of escape pods from the _Spear_ and the explosion and Theron’s escape, and the spell is broken.

Theron did it. The _Ascendant Spear_ is gone. They have succeeded.

It is a victory that the Republic has sorely needed. But that does not explain the heaviness in her heart as they set course for Coruscant and the mantle of Grand Master settles over her shoulders once more.


End file.
